Who Cares About Dating? Do I??
I desperately want to knock back some pms drugs and hit the sack!
I wonder how I managed to have a man around during this time of the month while I was married. Did all the sex just make me more mellow and better able to deal with the mood swings? I bet that’s it! I knew marriage had at least one benefit! Regular sex!
Now if only I could remember more benefits, I just might be willing to try it again!
Seriously, let’s talk about sex. Is it surreal to be dating as an adult–as a mother or father no less–and dealing with the sex issue? Is it just me who finds it bizarre? I have to admit to being very old-fashioned, for lack of a better term, when it comes to sex. I do not have sex outside of marriage for religious reasons, and other types of activities are generally frowned upon as well, so I find myself taking up new and unique habits such as biting my fingernails and complusively scrubbing my floors.
Okay, so I’ve slipped here and there and have played the bunny, but truly I have not had sex in a very very verrrrrrrrrrrrry long (for me) time. It’s crazy because I also have the highest sex drive of anyone I’ve ever met. I wonder if, therefore, I just date in hopes of finding a reasonably decent man to marry so I can do that horizontal tango again. And if that is what I’m doing, how the heck is that going to affect the kids? Am I just going to say yes to the next virile-looking man with a tight butt, a truck and a diamond ring?
Hm. This has given me pause. Honestly, I can’t think of a single reason to get married other than for sex. Rut, did I enter?
I’d really like to hear some feedback here. What are reasons that you can see for a single woman with a decent job, pets, a home and small children to a) get married, b) stay single but date or c) stay single PERIOD.
And speaking of that last lovely word, I am going to take some pain medicine and go to bed. You girls know how I feel!
pms, period, sex, sex and dating, sex and marriage, dating with children, dating, celibacy, pain
October 26th, 2006 at 11:22 pm
Jill, I know how you feel. And, since I have the same ‘old-fashioned’ beliefs as you, I would say SEX is a very good reason for marriage! HA!!!
Seriously though, I truly understand the problem you are having with where a man would fit into all of “this”. I don’t think any one woman really finds the perfect match to every item on her “MY MARRIAGE WISH LIST”. We may come close from time to time, but never everything we desire. I guess my view on the whole marriage after children is this: If you are pleased with your life, with YOU, but you still desire to have that extra part (no pun intended) then keep looking for it.
There’s so much more to a marriage than just SEX. What about a best friend? a confidant? another adult to stay up late with? a partner to rediscover after the children are grown and gone?
Those are the reasons I am dating, I want to find that person who makes me better, not whole. I am a whole person when single; but I am a better person because of the influences of the person I am dating.
~JM~
October 27th, 2006 at 7:24 am
Have you ever found anyone who makes you a better person for dating them?
As for the companionship answers, I get that from my girlfriends, girlfriend!
I really believe that sex may be the only reason to get married!!!
October 28th, 2006 at 12:57 am
I really have to say yes to your question, Jill. I might be lame or whatever, but I think that I have been blessed to have experiences where I have learned to be better at several different key areas in my life due to the people I have dated. I have learned quite a bit about myself in my dating years, some of that was great stuff…. most of it was stuff I’m sure I could have lived blissfully without knowing. But nonetheless, I know it now and have had to come to the first steps of change: Acknowledgement, Acceptance, and Action. These changes and realizations all came based on relationships I’ve had, whether they ended on good terms (oxymoron much?) or not, I am better because of them.
Ok, slap me now sistah!!!
~JM
November 6th, 2006 at 11:05 am
I feel your pain. I worked with a Junior High youth group while I was married and the occasional Sex outside of marriage discussion came up a few times. Now that I have been ’singled’ I feel very much under a microscope about my behaviour. Dang.