The Big Birthday Fiasco
Tonight was the celebration of my youngest son’s 5th birthday. At the time of the divorce the ex and I agreed to always have the kids’ birthday celebrations at my house and he would always just come here for it. We thought that’d be better than doing the ‘every other year’ thing to the kids. Consistency, we call it.
Tonight I realized that this is beyond unnecessary at this point. He will have a party for my son this weekend with the stepmom and the stepsisters, and my other kids will be there for it as well. Why does he need to come to my celebration as well?
The answer: He doesn’t! I’m done! I vow to write to him before the next kid’s birthday (which thankfully isn’t until April) and say: Please don’t come! According to the parenting plan I do have to invite him, but it doesn’t say that he has to show up, right??
The point is this: We did start out with the best of intentions and wanted to make the transition of their father no longer being in the home as easy as possible for the kids, and we did a good job. However, sometimes the things we’ve done become obsolete. My children are very aware that their dad has moved on and has a new home, new wife, and new children to boot. Why should their mother have to stress out every time each of the four kids has a birthday? I’m ready to be free!!!
divorce, parenting, birthday celebration, transition
November 6th, 2006 at 10:30 am
My Ex and I decided early on that we would do the birthdays and such separately, since she has already moved on and is dating (I personally have no desire to be around her or boyfriend). I think you are right and if he is already celebrating separately with your children, then there is no need for him to be expected to interfere with you private celebration with your children. Good for you.