Spelling out how PISSED OFF I can get
My darling son, C, is 11 and in the 6th grade. He recently won our school’s 5th through 8th grade spelling bee. I mean first place, folks. The next step is for him, along with the 2nd and 3rd place kids, is to go to the county spelling bee, which of course is in Helena. Yeah…Where the stupid ex and the homewrecker live.
Unless I’m dropping off my children at their dad’s house (or rather the house the bimbo allows him to rent bed space in, according to him), I avoid Helena like a deadly plague. Honestly I am just a little bit too crazy to run into them at the grocery store or something without knocking one or both of them flat. Silly, huh?
Anyway, C of course told his dad about the spelling bee winning and that he was going to be in the county bee. And of course he wants his dad there. His dad said that he’d be there, but has decided that he can’t come without the homewrecker. Why is this? Even though his dad has never had a single thing to do with any of the kid’s education (I homeschooled, which he stayed clear of, and then once they started public school, I was the only one involved in what they were doing), I do ‘get’ that he needs to be there. He did, after all, donate the sperm to create this child. I’m sure that was realllllllllly hard on him.
What I don’t get is this: This woman is the reason my children don’t have their father. Well no…Their father is the reason they don’t have a father, but legally (because of aforementioned sperm donation) I have to let him in on this sort of thing. This woman, however, has no legal connection to my kids, is no relative of theirs, and doesn’t even care that much about them or she wouldn’t swear at them or tell them she’s going to throw away the toys that they like but she doesn’t when they’re at her house. She wouldn’t use my 11 year old as a built-in babysitter for her two small children and she’d give my kids a break from her presence so they could spend some time with their dad.
Also, as previously mentioned, these people make me seriously crazy. Can’t she stay home alone with her kids for an hour so the donor can make his token visit to the spelling bee and give me a little bit of sanity? Not for my sake, of course, but for the sake of my kids?
This is supposed to be my blog giving advice to the world, and I’ll resume that next time. 
In the meantime, advice on how to get bimbo to stay home?? (And seriously, if you tell me “just get over it and think of your son?, that’s NOT HELPING!!!)
Cheers!
spelling bee, win, first place, bimbo, homewrecker, ex-husband, stepmom, sperm donor
March 2nd, 2007 at 3:58 pm
Jill, if you asked him directly to please come alone… so that the focus of the day could be on your son, would he surely say no?… Gosh, I hope he can be mature about this.
Bravo to your son. It says a lot about you as a mother.
Rachel
March 2nd, 2007 at 4:59 pm
Hi Rachel! I did beg him to please come alone. He said: “Quit trying to control me” (wtf????) and “We’re coming. Get over it.”
Nice guy huh? Guess that’s why he’s the ex.
Thanks!!
Jill
March 4th, 2007 at 8:11 am
Jill, congratulations to you and your son! A great accomplishment for both of you, since you were his first teacher! I won’t tell you to get over it, since it doesn’t sound like that’s possible. However, since he is their biological dad and has a legal right to be there, you may just have to grin and bear it! Comfort yourself with the thought that you’re the one who is doing what’s best for your son. You’ve been there all along, while they’re just showing up for the occasional school activity!
March 5th, 2007 at 12:32 am
heres an idea…..move as far away from said sperm donor and the homewrecker. it doesnt sound to me like he is adding anything positive to your childrens lives
loves
bethe
March 5th, 2007 at 12:38 am
Good plan.
Any ideas??
March 8th, 2007 at 2:44 pm
Ooooh, this was tough to read. I AM The Bimbo (in my own little situation). But there are some vast differences, namely he and I met after he was divorced.
I can’t speak for her, but I know that I was MAJORLY uncomfortable at these functions.. and for the exact reasons you mentioned. I DIDN’T have a reason to be there. But I was there to support my husband and his son. I did my best to stay quiet and supportive. And you have every right to demand that of her.
I’m sure this has already passed (I’m trolling on a slow afternoon), but I hope everything went smoothly. You hit it on the nose: the focus that day should be your amazing son!
March 8th, 2007 at 5:16 pm
Ivy…Thanks for the comments. I think it’s important to make the distinction that you weren’t together with him when he was together with his wife. If my ex had ANY other wife/girlfriend, I wouldn’t at all have a problem with it. In fact, I’d probably try to be very friendly with her for the sake of the kids. With this one, though, I just can’t manage it.
March 8th, 2007 at 6:49 pm
nice