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Speed Dating

by JillM

While I’ve never tried speed dating, I must admit to being fairly fascinated at the whole concept. If you’ve tried it, I’d love to hear about your experiences. I decided to do some research on the topic today and here is what I found!

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8minuteDating is the Fast, Fun and Guaranteed way for single people to meet – live and in person. At 8minuteDating events, you’ll have 8 one-on-one dates that last 8 minutes each. If both parties are interested in meeting again, we provide contact information so they can set up another date. We guarantee you’ll meet someone you want to see again or your next event is on us!
Amazingly, over 98% of our customers tell us that they enjoy our events, over 90% meet someone who they want to see again, and over 60% of the time the interest is mutual, leading to a second date. Compare those odds to going to a bar!

What you get at an 8minuteDating event:

1. A fast, fun, safe and comfortable way to meet people.
2. A room full of eligible singles who want to meet someone like you.
3. An enjoyable evening of conversation.
4. 8 great dates in 1 fun night.
5. Time to meet anyone who catches your eye during the mix and mingle periods.
6. Complimentary appetizers and a chance to win extra prizes (at most events).
7. Our Guarantee: Meet someone you want to see again or your next event is free!
8. Maybe… the love of your life.

Speed dating

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Speed dating is a formalized matchmaking process or dating system whose purpose is to encourage people to meet a large number of new people. Its origins are credited to Rabbi Yaacov Deyo of Aish HaTorah, originally as a way to help Jewish singles meet and marry.[1][2][3] “SpeedDating”, as a single word, is a registered trademark of Aish HaTorah. “Speed dating”, as two separate words, is often used as a generic term for similar events.

The first speed-dating event took place at Pete’s Café in Beverly Hills in late 1998.[1] Soon afterward, several commercial services began offering secular round-robin dating events across the United States. By 2000, speed dating had really taken off, perhaps boosted by its portrayal in shows such as Sex and the City as something that glamorous people did. Supporters argue that speed dating saves time, as most people decide if they are romantically compatible very quickly, and first impressions are often permanent.

Organization

Men and women are rotated to meet each other over a series of short “dates”, usually lasting from 3 to 8 minutes depending on the organization running the event. At the end of each interval, the organizer rings a bell or clinks a glass to signal the participants to move on to the next date. At the end of the event participants submit to the organizers a list of who they would like to provide their contact information to. If there is a match, contact information is forwarded to both parties. Contact information cannot be traded during the initial meeting, in order to reduce pressure (especially on women) to accept or reject a suitor to their face.

These events typically require advance registration, often an online prepayment by credit card. However, they may accept a few walk-ins when needed to balance the gender ratio. Some services make use of waitlists when signing up to strive for exactly the same number of men and women, while others have a more “party” atmosphere and only aim for an approximately matching number.

There are many speed dating events now in the UK and the US. Many of these simply specify an age range for ladies and gentlemen; sometimes a slightly older range is specified for men. On the other hand, many organizers offer niche events such as nights for graduates only, gays and lesbians, older men with younger women and vice versa, book lovers, ethnic events, and of course the original niche event, religious affiliation.

[edit] Advantages

Proponents of speed dating cite its advantages as:

  • It allows singles to meet a large number of new people in one easy event.
  • It is especially efficient for busy professionals or those that have limited social circles.
  • It levels the playing field for men and women.
  • Men do not have to play their traditional role as the aggressor—both men and women are forced to meet and interact.
  • The structured interaction helps shy people to overcome their inhibitions.
  • The time limit ensures that no one is stuck talking to someone longer than they wish.
  • The matching process occurs after the event, ensuring people do not have to face rejection in person. This helps avoid awkward situations and uneasy interactions between participants during the event.
  • Participants are almost always guaranteed that the people they meet are single or at least looking. This is generally more difficult to discern when one goes to a bar or a club.
  • It is something that women who like to go out in groups can do together.[4]
  • Participants are usually grouped in their preferred age range.
  • It is cost efficient. Speed dating is essentially numerous dates for the price of one.

[edit] Compared to bars

  • There is no need for an opening pick-up line or a wingman to approach someone in order to initiate a chat
  • No one person can monopolize chatting with another person, i.e. every guy has an equal opportunity and amount of time allotted to chat with every girl

[edit] Compared to clubs

  • There is no need to be skilled in dancing in order to initiate contact
  • Clubs usually play loud music which makes chatting difficult

[edit] Criticisms and disadvantages

Critics of speed dating claim:

  • It reinforces first impressions, which may not be reliable indicators of long-term compatibility.
  • It tends to put less extroverted subjects at a disadvantage.
  • Participants who have uneasiness or animosity towards each other are still forced to politely chat with each other in the time allotted. For example, if a participant has already rejected another individual in a previous speed dating event, they are still forced to awkwardly mingle with each other during their speed dating round.
  • It provides only superficial knowledge of another person due to the short time available for introductions.
  • Feedback / gratification is delayed. Participants normally have to wait a day or two to get the results of a match. In other social events, there is almost instant result; usually with the girl giving her number out to a guy.
  • The traditional speed dating model fails to match participants in any meaningful way.

Despite these criticisms, speed dating continues to grow in popularity.

[edit] Scientific research

There have been several studies of the round-robin dating systems themselves, as well as studies of interpersonal attraction that are relevant to these events. Other studies found speed-dating data useful as a way to observe individual choices among random participants.

[edit] First impressions

A 2005 study at the University of Pennsylvania of a speed dating event found that most people made their choices within the first three seconds of meeting. Furthermore, issues such as religion, previous marriages, and smoking habits were found to play much less of a role than expected. [5] [6]

A 2006 study in Edinburgh, Scotland showed that 45% of the women participants in a speed-dating event and 22% of the men had come to a decision within the first 30 seconds. It also found that dialogue concerning travel resulted in more matches than dialogue about films.[7]

[edit] Unconscious preferences

Malcolm Gladwell’s book on split-second decision-making, Blink, introduces two professors at Columbia University who run speed-dating events. Drs. Sheena Iyengar and Raymond Fisman found, from having the participants fill out questionnaires, that what people said they wanted in an ideal mate did not match their unconscious preferences.[8] [9]

[edit] Olfaction and the MHC

A 1995 study at the University of Bern showed that women appear to be attracted to the smell of men who have different MHC profiles from their own, and that oral contraceptives reversed this effect.[10]

The MHC is a region of the human genome involved with immune function. Because parents with more diverse MHC profiles would be expected to produce offspring with stronger immune systems, dissimilar MHC may play a role in sexual selection.

A speed “date” lasting several minutes should be long enough for the MHC hypothesis to come into play, provided the participants are seated close enough together.

[edit] Olfaction and pheromones

The TV newsmagazine 20/20 once sent both a male and a female set of twins to a speed dating event. One of each set was wearing pheromones, and the ones wearing pheromones received more matches[11].

[edit] Age and height preference

A 2006 study at the University of Essex and the IZA in Bonn [12] into the relative effects of preference versus opportunity in mate selection showed, while concluding that opportunity was more important than preference, that a woman’s age is the single most important factor determining demand by men. Although it is less important for men, age is still a highly significant factor determining demand by women.

The same study found that a man’s height had a significant impact upon his desirability, with a reduction in height causing a decrease in desirability at the rate of 5% per inch.

[edit] Selectivity

Studies of speed dating events generally show more selectivity among women than among men. For instance, the Penn study reported that the average man was chosen by 34% of the women and the average woman was chosen by 49% of the men.[5]

Sounds fun, no? I dare you to try it!

:)

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2 Responses to “Speed Dating”

  1. WomanlyAdvice Says:

    No worse off than filling out all the online dating profiles - I didn’t get any long term romances out of it, but met a nice guy along the way…

  2. Emily Says:

    I think speed dating is such a strange thing! Check out this guy’s intriguing experience. I got a few laughs.

    http://rafterjumpon.com/view_rafters.php5?id=46

Leave a Reply


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Being a single parent can be a challenge. Trying to meet people and date successfully while parenting might be a bit much to ask! Yet, millions of single parents date every day. This dating blog endeavors to discuss the benefits, joys and pitfalls of dating with children, while supporting dating single parents in their attempts to find love and companionship.

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