Don’t Waste the Pretty!
I have been pondering the whole “He’s Just Not That Into You” phenomenon, a book written by Greg Behrendt and Liz Tuccillo, both formerly of HBO’s “Sex and the City.” The book came after an episode of Sex and the City where Carrie’s boyfriend is telling Miranda that a man who didn’t come up to her apartment for sex after their date (after being invited) was just not that into her.
That got me to thinking. I have had a few first dates where there was no hand-holding and no smooching. The dates were fun and the conversation great, mind you, but there was nothing even close to wild monkey sex either.
So what say ye? When a man doesn’t come on to you with both barrels (okay, just one), does it mean that he’s just not that into you?
sex and the city, miranda, carrie, he’s just not that into you, don’t waste the pretty, sex, kissing, dating, conversation, first date, sex on the first date
August 22nd, 2007 at 11:04 am
I’m the author of a book called “Grab Your Tiger: How 110 Women Made the First Move to Capture the Men of Their Dreams.” In my interviews with over 300 men, I learned that not being into you is way down at the bottom of the list of why men don’t approach or come on like gangbusters. The real reasons–and this is straight from the horses’ mouths include shyness (this is a big one, believe it or not, even if they’re outgoing with their friends), fear of rejection–particularly if they struck out in the recent past, and total lack of clarity about how the woman in question is feeling about him. I am a big advocate of women clarifying their interest and even making that first move when it comes to meeting a guy or taking things to the next level, and I offer lots of ways to do at http://www.grabyourtiger.com. Happy Hunting! Kathy
August 25th, 2007 at 2:52 pm
I think there is no rhyme or reason to men coming on like gangbusters or not. Just like some women will do that, or like it, some won’t. I think you have to realize that while there are patterns that men follow (in my experience) if you make a generalization that is just when someone will do something NEW!
October 30th, 2007 at 9:26 pm
As a guy, I agree with Kathy that one of the reasons that guys don’t come on as strongly as expected is shyness. Also, it could be the ultimate true indication that the guy is at least half-serious about you! Two sides to the coin. One, he is not that into you. Two, he likes you so much, he does not want to risk not getting a 2nd date. How to find out which it is? See if he calls again…