Dating with Children

This is taken from a singles conference workshop at my church. They were talking about how communication styles are different between the genders, as if we didn’t know that already, but I found it interesting anyway. Isn’t it a wonder any relationships ever work out??

A WOMAN: Enjoys conversation as a relationship strengthener.
A MAN : Engages in conversation to exchange information to complete a task.

A WOMAN: More often listens for the intent behind the words.
A MAN : More often listens for the content of the words.

A WOMAN: Intends to communicate emotions.
A MAN : Intends to communicate information.

A WOMAN: Tends to talk to think out loud.
A MAN : Tends to stop talking to figure out what he wants to say.

A WOMAN: Will talk openly about her problems with a trusted other to feel better or cool off.
A MAN : Will seek solitude (go to his “cave”) to feel better or cool off.

A WOMAN: Is often fulfilled through talking with others about the details of her problems.
A MAN : Is often fulfilled through working out the intricate details of solving a problem on his own.

A WOMAN: Seeks company when uncomfortable or in pain.
A MAN : Seeks solitude when uncomfortable or in pain.

A WOMAN: Finds that the most important part of her day-connecting in a relationship-actively begins when her mate comes home from work.
A MAN : Finds the most important part of his day-making a living-is over when he gets home and he wants to relax now that he’s home.

A WOMAN: Needs a measure of closeness in the relationship at the evenings.
A MAN : Needs to tune out when he comes home.

A WOMAN: Talks to create intimacy.
A MAN : Does things to create intimacy.

A WOMAN: In a disagreement wants understanding.
A MAN : In a disagreement wants peace.

A WOMAN: In a disagreement fights for the right to be upset.
A MAN : In a disagreement fights for the right to be free.

A WOMEN: Recieves unsolicited advice as a sign that the person she is speaking to is not listening to her feelings behind the words.
A MAN : Recieves unsolicited advice as a presumption that he doesnt know what to do or that he cant do it on his own.

A WOMAN: Under stress will seek immediate relief by expressing herself to be understood.
A MAN : Under stress will seek an immediate “fix” to the problem.

A WOMAN: Often vents stress by talking.
A MAN : Often vents stress by doing.

A WOMAN: Is more likely to give feedback by paraphrasing or restating.
A MAN : Is more likely to give feedback by grunting or saying, “Oh,” “Hmm,” “Uh huh,” or “Humph.”

A WOMAN: May perceive silence as a sign that she is being ignored.
A MAN : May receive silence as a sign that the other person is thinking.

communication, men and women, relationships