abandoholic
I was reading a website that promotes a book on people who are abandoned. It goes into why we get into these patterns and offers seminars on how to wake up and get over it. One interesting point they made was that those were are stuck in this vicious cycle need to STOP following their gut. They said:
Enrich your mind. Follow your wisdom. But until you overcome your abandonment compulsion, don’t follow your gut – it will only get you into trouble – because your gut tells you that unavailable people are attractive.
I found that interesting because I have always been one to follow my feelings. I’m very intuitive by nature and I get by on most things by that gut feeling. On the other hand, I’m still feeling very betrayed by the father of my children and do find it difficult to commit to other relationships. It has me thinking that perhaps I’m what this site calls an “Abandophobic”.
Abandophobics act out their fear of abandonment by remaining socially isolated, or by appearing to search for someone, when in fact they are pursuing people who are unattainable, all to avoid the risk of getting attached to a real prospect – someone who might abandon them sooner or later.
Little bit of food for thought for all of us commitment phobic people, isn’t it?
abandoholic, commitment phobic, abandonophobic, social isolation, gut feelings, intuition, unattainable relationships, fear, relationships
May 10th, 2007 at 3:17 pm
Oh, you’re good!
You’ve described me in a nutshell here. Although I don’t think I have any fears of committing, I DO seem to fall hard for men who are emotionally unavailable.
Thanks for opening my eyes today.