Dating with Children

Today, for me, is bittersweet. I realize that in order to be a great single mom, I need help. I can’t be with my son 24/7 - especially if I want to start dating again - and I need time to write/work, recharge and just be Bonny. Not that being Mommy isn’t now a part of who I am. It is. But there are definitely times that I miss the old me, too.

So I registered my son in a daycare down the street from my house. It’s as perfect as perfect could be really. The lady who runs the daycare has done so for over 18 years. She has four grown children of her own. Her daycare is in her own home, registered, licensed, and affordable. The kids in her care seem happy and well-adjusted, and she seems to really connect with the little ones under her roof.

So when my baby started whimpering (he was scared; it was a lot for him to take in, understandably) I almost burst into tears myself. I realized just how connected the two of us are at that moment, and just how much time we spend together. “Oh, he obviously loves his mama!” anyone who sees us together says - and I agree. But in order to love him to the fullest of my abilities, I have to take time for myself, too.

Today was that day. I’m pretty sure it was harder for me than it was for him, although I won’t know for sure until I pick him up in about an hour.

How have you felt about childcare for your little ones? Do you use a daycare, babysitter, friend, ex or family member? Do your childcare needs differ depending on what you are doing (i.e. work or going out on a date)?

By Alex Hansen

People are always talking about the plight of single mothers raising kids, but single fathers have it every bit as tough, if not tougher. As a single father, I have to the same financial responsibility as a single mother would have. I have to raise my kids single-handedly, unable to depend on a second income that I took for granted when I first got married. Few people realize how hard it is to run a single parent household. Sometimes, it can be hellish. I have three children, and each of them have different after school activities. Aside from working a full-time job, I have to ferry them around, share carpool duties, and host friends on the weekends.

My introduction to single fatherhood was actually a trial by fire. It is an experience common to many single fathers. I used to think that fathers rights were a bunch of hokum. I did not really believe that fathers were discriminated against in the court system like many people say they are. I found out the hard way that it is tough for single fathers. In our culture, people always believe that the woman is the victim in a divorce. For a single father to get custody of the children is where. Even knowing my wife was certifiably insane, I still almost lost visitation rights. Fathers rights is not something to be taken lightly. You may not realize it until it is too late, but it is crucial to get the representation you need in a divorce.

The only thing that can make things easier for single fathers or for single parents in general is to have a good support group. A single parent network is almost indispensable if you’re just learning the ropes of running a household by yourself. There are so many stresses to raising kids without a partner, and it can be helpful to have older and wiser members of your community who can tell you how it is done. Don’t be too shy to ask for help it is there if you need it.

Of course, although being a single dad has been hard, I wouldn’t trade it for the world. I love raising my kids so much that it is worth all the hardship and turmoil. I only wish that things had worked out better between my wife and I. Kids deserve two parents, after all, even if those parents have disagreements from time to time.

Best Online Dating Tips is a successful website that offers tips and advice to get the best out of online dating. Get more tips from Online Dating for Single Parents! by Alex Hanson.